A Day in the Life of
by empruntenom
Summary: Solving one of the many mysteries of PoT, "What if the Tenipuri people were obsessed with something besides tennis" Crack fic, in the sense that almost everyone is OOC. Extremely OOC. (As usual.) No deaths occur. (Not usual.)


Disclaimer: I own Prince of Tennis. I just have no legal rights of any kind over it. (Lies.)

BONJOUR, CECI EST DAY IN THE LIFE OF...! This is a random idea I had at five in the morning whilst being completely sleep-deprived at the start of spring break! And I drank some coffee and ate lots and lots of ice cream! So yes, this is a crack fic! Why am I using exclamation points! Oh well! Anyways, every chapter will introduce a character (or two) with a different... how shall I put this...? Ah, social status. Kind of. Yes. Be warned. DUN DUN DUNNNNN See, that means that you should be warned. Because I did the DUN DUN DUNNNNN thing. Which is a warning. That warns people. About stuff. Oui. There will be eight installments, as I think Taka is a retard and will be discluding him. I might do A Day in the Life of 2 featuring rival schools if this one goes well and I get pretty, pretty reviews. So don't be a 'tard like Taka; review.

My first victim is, of course, Fuji. (Some hints about other characters' identities, as well.)

* * *

One day, a boy by the name of Fuji Shusuke left his house to go to his school, Seishun Gakuen. Like every typical morning, he got up, put on his clothes and other accessories of the sort, ate breakfast, said goodbye to his family, put on his helmet, and rode off to school. He didn't like taking the bus very much, as he could get more 'work' done if he went straight to school. A seemingly normal start of a day for a seemingly normal boy. And a very normal start of a day for Fuji, it was.

"EEEEEEEEEEE IT'S FUJI EEEEEEEEEE!"

"I LOVE YOU!"

"PLEASE HAVE MY CHILD!"

"YOU'RE SO HOT OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!"

"Ladies, gents," Fuji said in acknowledgment, with a little smirk and a nod, making a few of the admirers faint. Yes, all very normal. Just his daily hassling by adoring fangirls (and a couple of fan_boys_ that have accumulated over the years, although he's quite used to everyone worshipping him nowadays so it isn't that weird anymore) before school started. Oh, and his favorite... er, 'client,' shall we say, appeared right on time, as usual.

Fuji snuck up behind him and whispered in his ear, "Hello, Inui-san." Because he's creepy that way.

"WAH! Uh, F-Fuji-sama... I, um, didn't see you there, ha ha...," laughed Inui nervously. "Y-You're looking quite stunning today, if I do say so myself- but that doesn't mean that you didn't look just as nice yesterday- b-but I'm not saying that you look normal everyday- and that's to say that you don't look not normal- OH GOD JUST PLEASE DON'T HURT ME!" rambled poor, poor Inui as he quivered in fear.

"Geez, calm down, ya spaz. I won't punish you today... for my normal token fee."

"Yes, yes! O-of course! Here!" said Inui as he handed over his lunch money to Fuji.

"That's a good slave, loyal like always." Fuji patted Inui's head as an owner would pat his dog's (and Inui flinched as a dog would react to his owner if he/she was attacking him with a chainsaw). And an owner, Fuji was. Ah, yes. Life is great when you're the school's official bad-ass bully. He took his helmet off and locked it onto his motorcycle. Straightening his leather jacket and playing with his brass knuckles, he asked, "Slave, is my hair okay?"

"A-as always, Fuji-sama!"

"Then your presence is not needed any further. Off with you."

"Yes, sir!" And Inui ran off, turning a tad too fast and running right into a trash can. Onlookers of this laughed, watching the sniffling, red-faced nerd pick up his scattered supplies and run off into the school building. But just before he entered, someone threw an apple core at the back of his head and knocked him over again.

"Yep, life is good," announced Fuji, walking away to his spot under a tree and then took out a pack of cigarettes.

"HEY KID, YOU CAN'T SMOKE ON THE SCHOOL PREM- oh, why Fuji! It's you! Should've known... your jacket... hair... Well, I'll be off, then!" expatiated the head dean before running the hell away.

"Damn straight you better beat it, chump," he muttered. "Where was I, now? Right, my lovelies. Here, smoky-smoky, come to papa..."

* * *

RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING-

"SHUT THE HELL UP, YOU STUPID BELL!"

(For, yes, even the 'omg-you-only-have-one-minute-until-class-starts-so-hurry-up-you-insignificant-little-bugs' bell stops for the almighty Fuji-sama.) "Yeah, yeah. Coming to class already..." Fuji strutted across the halls all cool-like, but at a decent enough speed to get to class on time. Heaven knows what everyone might think if he was late- why, they might even think him to be slow! How dreadful!

"Nice, on par to your average arrival time, I see," greeted Fuji's teacher.

"Well, duh-"

"FUJIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!"

"What the f-?" Fuji would have liked to finish that sentence, had he not been glomped by what he would call "a force to be reckoned with," as in, a force he could not control like everyone else. At all. "What the hell are _you_ doing here? I thought you were down with the flu or something!"

"NOPE! Well I did have a flu but then I went and got some medicine and BOY did it taste ICKY! But that's besides the point because after I swallowed it OH OH OH IT WAS A PILL FUJI, A PILL! I CAN SWALLOW PILLS NO MORE CHEWABLES FOR ME I'M ALL GROWN UP NOW, AREN'T YOU PROUD OF ME? But but but anyways I swallowed the PILL (triumphant grin) and then I got all better so I came back to school and all those two days I was sick all I was thinking was DARN THIS IS SO LAME AND I WON'T BE ABLE TO SEE MY GREAT FRIEND FUJI but HERE YOU ARE because HERE I AM so YAY EVERYTHING WORKED OUT ISN'T THIS GREAT NOW WE GET TO HANG OUT TOGETHER ALL DAY LONG AND I GET TO MAKE UP ALL OF THE TALKING TO YOU THAT I MISSED WHEN I WASN'T HERE YAAAAAAAAY!"

"This is going to be a _very_ long day..." For the rest of the class period, Fuji tuned out all of the non-stop rambling of this crazy fool (or attempted to, at least) and stared at the back of the-goth-kid-that-sits-in-front-of-him's head, the tiniest ray of hope that silence would grace his ears.

But that silence never came.

* * *

_Maybe if I make a run for it right when the bell rings, he won't notice me leaving..._ Fuji was thinking of ways he could rid his bad-ass self of the annoyance after class, since he would surely follow him to his next class like a starving, little puppy-dog would follow a man with steaks pasted all over his body like some kind of giant meat-coat. And so, when the bell rang, Fuji hauled ass right out of the classroom to safety.

Slowing down his pace after running fast enough to halve the time of the school's best track record, Fuji looked back. "Whew, I think I'm out of his range now," he said to himself.

CRASH.

"OW!"

"Whuh-thuh-fuh-!" Okay, so Fuji learned the hard way to watch where you're walking. And even though he knew it was his own fault, maybe he could still not take the blame if the kid fell for, "Watch where you're going, you little twerp!"

"Eh? You're the one that ran into me, 'tard!" Apparently, the kid knew it was his fault, too (or maybe it was because he was an arrogant being not unlike himself). The boy, obviously a first year (considering his height and naïvetéfor calling the great Fuji-sama a "'tard"), corrected the position of his white cap and picked up what seemed to be a large case of some sort that he had dropped.

_This kid obviously does NOT know what he's getting himself into._ "You know, there's a price for running into someone of my stature like that. If you pay a not made-up, non-refundable 'omit fee,' we'll 'forget' that all of this happened, if you catch my drift," coughed Fuji suggestively, holding out his hand in a money-receiving pose.

The kid stared blankly. "... HAHAHAH! Riiiiight. Mada mada da ne," he scoffed as he turned to leave.

"Excuse me! Don't you know who I am!" questioned the older of the two, quite offended.

"Do you know who **_I_** am?" questioned the younger snarkily, turning back around, possibly even more offended. "Oh, right, you're not 'with us.' I think I would've recognized that hideous mask- oh, that's your face, isn't it?"

"Obviously not. I don't keep track of all the stupid little first years that think they're important around here," stated Fuji in a non-chalant tone. "I'll honor you with the introduction of myself, first." And the acclaimed bad-ass proceeded to tell the young one about his coolest, most-adored, bitchin' title around and all of his kick-ass achievements of kick-assness. "So, who are you and what makes you think that you can talk to me as if my seniority and your lack of it were switched around?"

* * *

TO BE CONTINUED! DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

* * *

So obviously, you know who the next person will be. Hmmm, no, I think the person that is snarky, a first year, wears a white hat and says, "Mada mada da ne," is OISHI! (... If you actually think it could possibly be Oishi, I suggest you stop reading random fanfics about animes you don't know about. You have no life. Go get one. For the sake of us all.) And I bet you a lifetime supply of Fuji-bear dolls that you've mixed up the identity of two people that were hinted already. Or maybe you know how I think and have switched them around without thinking, but then you would've thought about what I thought, which means you'd have thunk my thoughts that I would've thought you'd think. Yes. Surprisingly, that made sense. I think. Well, off to sleep because it is now six in the morning! I'll update every day or two, being spring break and all andI have nothing to do.Au revoir! 


End file.
